Machines with Attitude
Posted 1st October 2007 at 13:48 by Liz from Wolfprint
So, it's Friday night and you come home from a hard day's work, throw off your jacket and get into something comfortable. You make yourself a mug of something hot and yummy, and get ready to kick back for the remainder of the evening in front of your favourite TV show...
...or do you?
No. You don't. Because your extremely expensive, pay-monthly TV system has decided to break down on you, for the simple reason that it decided you haven't been dusting its box enough. I mean, come on!
Now, it's five minutes later. You've had a good swear, and flicked through as many channels as you can to make sure it's not just the BBC, Channel 5, and Sky that have given up the ghost. And still you're getting the little blue message telling you that there's no signal. So you fling the jacket back on, and traipse out into the you-blinked-and-missed-the-summer cold, and make sure that the aerial isn't up the creak. Surprise surprise! There's absolutely nothing wrong with it!
A few more minutes of muttered swearing leads you to your computer, where you dismally search and search for the online help system that has been promised to you for so long. You can almost hear the sky-box laughing at you. But after a convoluted direction change, you finally gain access to the hidden sanctum. The holy, promised land where you will finally gain the answers to life, the universe and everything ... if only they'd just left you with 42!
You try everything they tell you to. System restart. LND transfiguration. Kicking it. You get into another hissy-fit about the fact that it's now so late, Prison Break's already over and done with, and it looks like you'll have to wait for the reruns like everybody else. But perhaps there's still hope, you ask foolishly. The friendly online system is once again asking if its last tip fixed the problem. You press the no button for the hundredth time and ...
..."If You Say So" jumps up onto your screen.
"I'm sorry, what?!" You yell. But it's too late. That's the final answer you'll ever receive from this prophesised piece of machinery. You took the red pill, and this is where the rabbit hole comes to an abrupt end.
_______
What happened next? Well, I called them to ask for help, and they said they could come and fix it on Monday. Took them about...three seconds to do it. Why was that piece of information not available, I ask you?
...or do you?
No. You don't. Because your extremely expensive, pay-monthly TV system has decided to break down on you, for the simple reason that it decided you haven't been dusting its box enough. I mean, come on!
Now, it's five minutes later. You've had a good swear, and flicked through as many channels as you can to make sure it's not just the BBC, Channel 5, and Sky that have given up the ghost. And still you're getting the little blue message telling you that there's no signal. So you fling the jacket back on, and traipse out into the you-blinked-and-missed-the-summer cold, and make sure that the aerial isn't up the creak. Surprise surprise! There's absolutely nothing wrong with it!
A few more minutes of muttered swearing leads you to your computer, where you dismally search and search for the online help system that has been promised to you for so long. You can almost hear the sky-box laughing at you. But after a convoluted direction change, you finally gain access to the hidden sanctum. The holy, promised land where you will finally gain the answers to life, the universe and everything ... if only they'd just left you with 42!
You try everything they tell you to. System restart. LND transfiguration. Kicking it. You get into another hissy-fit about the fact that it's now so late, Prison Break's already over and done with, and it looks like you'll have to wait for the reruns like everybody else. But perhaps there's still hope, you ask foolishly. The friendly online system is once again asking if its last tip fixed the problem. You press the no button for the hundredth time and ...
..."If You Say So" jumps up onto your screen.
"I'm sorry, what?!" You yell. But it's too late. That's the final answer you'll ever receive from this prophesised piece of machinery. You took the red pill, and this is where the rabbit hole comes to an abrupt end.
_______
What happened next? Well, I called them to ask for help, and they said they could come and fix it on Monday. Took them about...three seconds to do it. Why was that piece of information not available, I ask you?
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I like this! I can just imagine how much work goes into trying to programme a computer that has a sense of irony - or perhaps it is sarcasm...(or is it perhaps actually a real person typing in, it sounds so much like the 'have you plugged it in' type comment where you can imagine the person rolling their eyes and muttering that all customers are idiots).
I suppose as technical people programme these things they are bound to take on a similar personality? |
Posted 15th October 2007 at 12:17 by Alice at Equisport
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I know the feeling well, but to me it usually happens on Christmas Eve!!!
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Posted 6th May 2008 at 10:47 by alphalogistics
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- Machines with Attitude (1st October 2007)
